


The Boy Who Had No Choice

by RUNNFROMTHEAK



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Bellatrix is a psycho, Deleted Scenes, Draco Malfoy Has Issues, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Draco throws Harry the wand, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good and Evil, Implied/Referenced Torture, Introspection, Lucius Malfoy's A+ Parenting, M/M, Morality, Narcissa Malfoy tries her best, One-Sided Attraction, POV Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Rip to JK Rowling but I acknowledge the lack of straight tension, Temporary Character Death, to Draco's knowledge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23800696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RUNNFROMTHEAK/pseuds/RUNNFROMTHEAK
Summary: There’s something to be said about shock.Something to be said about going into shock, but he can’t be bothered to care at this moment. The words slip from his grasp, falling aside as worthless details and half grasped concepts.They aren’t real, nothing feels real, because as much as he’s hated Harry Potter, as deeply as he’s despised him, he’s never dreamt of his corpse. Not once, not even at his darkest, not even with his Aunt Bella egging him on as the muggles screamed…He’s never wished Potter dead, even if he hated himself for it.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 22
Kudos: 159





	The Boy Who Had No Choice

**Author's Note:**

> So,,,, I fell into this pairing and I'm obsessed with this deleted scene. Might write more, maybe?

“HARRY POTTER IS _DEAD_!”

There’s something to be said about shock.

Something to be said about going _into shock_ , but he can’t be bothered to care at this moment. The words slip from his grasp, falling aside as worthless details and half grasped concepts.

They aren’t _real_ , nothing feels _real_ , because as much as he’s hated Harry Potter, as deeply as he’s _despised_ him, he’s never dreamt of his corpse. Not once, not even at his darkest, not even with his Aunt Bella egging him on as the muggles screamed…

He’s never wished Potter dead, even if he hated himself for it.

He freezes as the Weasley girl screams, as her father grabs her tight as he can to hold her back from the Death Eater’s loud cheers. Draco can see him – the object of his envy and hatred and irritation and complete and utter _loathing_ – in the Half-breed’s arms, draped haphazardly like a delicate princess. It almost looks like he’s sleeping, like this is all some sick joke, and the stupid prat’s Chosen One powers are about to kick in at any moment.

But then Draco looks at Granger and Weasley, looks at the shock in their eyes, the _broken_ and _haunted_ way the tears gather in their eyes, and he knows this is real. This isn’t school years, where his worst secret is the humiliation lingering after Potter’s rejection in first year, where his biggest concern is winning the Quidditch game just to show Potter up or the House Cup to give the finger to Dumbledore.

This is _real_ , and it’s _terrifying_ , terrifying in a way he’d barely tasted in sixth year, half-mad with desperation and the burden of that brand on his arm, the dark ink marking him as _evil_ and _wrong_.

(“ _Draco, years ago, I knew a boy who made all the **wrong** choices. Please, let me help you.”_)

He hadn’t let the old man help him, had watched Severus Snape kill him, and he feels a pang for the optimistic fool doomed to die. He never set out to make the wrong choices, but he did anyways. There were no _choices_ , there had been _honor_ , and _duty_ , and _loyalty_ , but never a choice.

~~( _What’s the **right** choice when every action leads to a death? When inaction leads to death? What is the right choice when your father bartered away your ability to make them for the loyalty of a madman drunk on power?_)~~

Malfoys don’t have choices, they have responsibilities.

He’d been damned from the start.

“SILENCE!”

No one speaks, no one breathes, not even Draco. His eyes linger on Potter, blood-spattered and dirty, as if he’d tumbled through dirt before ‘ _Avada Kedavra’_ struck. He wonders if it hurt, if Potter had been afraid.

Potter’s a Gryffindor, so he doubts it – what they lacked in subtlety and intelligence they made up for in fool-hardy bravery.

( _And isn’t that the conundrum Draco’s struggled with, surrounded by the Dark Lord’s suffocating presence, the toxic feeling lingering in Malfoy Manor – is it better to be a brilliant coward, or a brave fool? – Potter’s corpse doesn’t offer any answers_ )

“ _Why didn’t you tell her? Bellatrix? You knew it was me. You didn’t say anything.”_

He’s never been ready for Potter’s death, even when the opportunity arose not _once_ but _twice_ – first at the hands of his family, second at the hands of his friends – he’d been so _stupidly_ unprepared that he’d _saved him_ , _lied_ for him, even after the bathroom and all the bad blood accumulated over years of bitterness, years of envy and what he wishes he could call hatred.

He’d never had a choice, but he let himself have **one**.

His family asked him to save _them_ , and he chose Potter, for reasons neither of them understand. ‘ _Understood_ ,’ he corrects, ignoring the blathering of the Dark Lord as he glides across his field of destruction and blood, ‘ _Neither of us understood_.’ Because it’s _past_ tense now – hate is now _hated_ , envy is now _envied_ – and he still doesn’t know how to feel, even as he knows how he _should_ feel.

Malfoys are calm, collected. Malfoys are perfect, in composure as well as pedigree. Malfoys don’t cower, nor do they fight.

As the snake strikes in the cover of tall grass, Malfoys strike in the dark, underhanded methods and crafty exchanges (money makes the bloody world spin, and the Malfoys have more money than they have emotion).

He _should_ be happy, should be smug, perhaps, over the death of the Boy Who Lived. The other Death Eaters are – _ecstatic,_ actually – but he’s not the same as them, even if it would be easier for his entire family if he were. Potter is the Boy Who Lived, and he’s the fool unwilling to see him dead – the boy who had _no choice_ – stuck on the subtle tug of his gut as Potter’s heart beats, as his green eyes glimmer.

Draco hates himself for noticing that too, for not being what he should be for his family.

“Draco, _come_.”

His mother beckons him, lips pulled tight in a twisted mockery even he couldn’t call a grin. It’s forced, so _disgustingly_ forced that he could scream, rage the way the Weasley girl tries to. Malfoys are calm, Malfoys are collected, and the look in his mother’s eyes – the whimper half released from his father’s throat – is anything but.

Draco walks from the _right_ side numbly, staring at Potter’s corpse even as the Dark Lord embraces him.

He shivers in revulsion, sick as the man his family has served faithfully for so long embraces _him_ as family. He’s stiff, goosebumps trailed down his pale – damn near _translucent_ – flesh feels the Dark Lord’s words.

Draco is released and his mother embraces him next, but his eyes still linger on the corpse that should not be, the last person he’d ever thought would die – even though Potter was the only non-muggle the Dark Lord truly _wanted_ to die.

No one calls him back, not that he expects them to, but he’s (mildly) disappointed all the same.

He wonders if Potter would have attempted it, self-righteous in his own beliefs that Draco couldn’t be truly evil, truly _wrong_ , if he’d defied the Dark Lord to let him live. He probably would have, might have called him a git or pathetic, and it’s nearly enough to make Draco laugh.

How far he’s fallen, to crave the predictability and reliability in banter with his greatest rival. That mutual irritation… They got under each other’s skin in ways no one else could, even if Draco hadn’t killed anyone.

“ _…_ Longbottom _.”_

He ignores his surroundings, ignores his mother’s soft attempts to coax him out of his self-imposed silence, ignores his father’s whimpering and the ashen appearance that’s such a _far_ cry from before…

_~~Before life became real, and actions had consequences, and his choices led to death and pain for people who didn’t deserve it.~~ _

__

Somewhere between Albus Dumbledore’s death and Potter’s, he’d changed.

Life used to be so clear…

But his father had been abandoned to Azkaban, cast aside in his own home for the Dark Lord’s acceptance. His mother had suffered – quietly, in ways those who didn’t know her wouldn’t see – in ways she’d never suffered before. And Draco… Draco…

_“…You knew it was me. You didn’t say anything.”_

He doesn’t know himself anymore.

“Draco,” his father murmurs, and he pulls back, tearing his gaze off Potter for the first time since Voldemort’s loud declaration set in this cold, this _numbness_ , settling in his limbs as if it was meant to be there.

His mother strokes his hair, nearly as tense as he is.

His father… looks _pathetic_. His once luminous blonde locks are stiff and dirty, as worn down and decayed as the rest of him. He’s lost weight, enough for his cheeks to appear sullen and sunken in, enough for his perfectly tailored robes to hang off him in ways not befitting a Malfoy.

He shoots his father a glare, furious at the tears he can feel prickling at the corners of his eyes.

“ _What?_ ” He demands, ignoring Longbottom’s nervous words, the exaggerated gestures he makes as he speaks, drawing the crowds of _right_ and _wrong_ ’s attention.

“We must leave, Draco,” Narcissa interjects, eyes cold and empty. There’s a kindness in her touch that her perfect face can’t convey. “ _Now_.”

But he shoves her away, because his eyes are back on Potter – infuriatingly, stupidly, fixated on the boy turned man he couldn’t hate no matter how desperately he wanted to. Steady breath, in and out.

“… _a boy who made all the wrong choices…”_

He feels his mother eyes linger, demanding answers he _can’t_ give, perhaps is _unwilling_ to give.

Longbottom’s shouting now, speaking of _sacrifice_ and how Harry Potter’s stupid heart had _beat_ and _bled_ for them all – and honestly, after all the years and pain and _suffering_ , how could they not already know that? How could they question that, when he only hated those who aligned themselves with pain, with hatred and _wrong choices_.

Unexplainably, there’s a twitch.

Corpses don’t twitch, and it’s small enough for Draco to nearly brush off, to dismiss it as a fight of fancy for his not-hated rival, but he _knows_ Potter. Knows Potter far more than he likes admitting, and he sees his right hand – the same hand he extends towards the snitch every match with that _infuriating_ grin – twitch again.

Potter can’t sit still, never has been able to…

And Draco knows the truth before Longbottom draws the sword of Godric Gryffindor from the dirtied Sorting Hat, knows it as Voldemort laughs.

“Harry’s heart **did** beat for us! For all of us! And it’s **not over** _!”_

Harry Potter grunts, louder than the rapid tempo of Draco’s heart, and he flings himself from the Half-Giant’s arms to the cold stone floor of the half-destroyed courtyard.

The Dark Lord turns, smug grin turning as the gasps reach his ears…

Potter’s wild-eyed, hands grasping for a wand that evidently wasn’t there, still glaring at Voldemort defiantly.

Draco Malfoy is a boy who’s never had a choice, burdened by his family’s legacy, by the weight of expectations and tradition and self-importance piled on by his father. He’s _always_ followed his father’s rules, his father’s ambitions…

He’s been perfect, as close as he could get.

He’s been obedient, even as it tore his soul and mind apart.

He’s been cool, even as screams scratch at his throat, demanding to be released.

But when the Dark Lord turns, when he frowns and his eyes narrow into dark slits, Draco makes another choice, ripping his arm from his mother’s grasp.

“ _Draco_ —” His father tries, but he’s already gone.

“ _…all the **wrong** choices…”_

“Potter!” He shouts, ripping the wand straight from Voldemort’s bony fingers. Potter’s emerald eyes – _still glimmering_ , Draco can’t help but notice – snap onto him, hardened and suspicious, until they notice the wand he holds in a death grip.

He tosses the wand, ignoring Voldemort’s angry shout for another wand, and Potter _catches it_ , looking _alive_ and _confident_ …

“ _CONFRINGO!”_

Nagini hisses, sent flying towards the Death Eater’s as Voldemort yells again, sending waves of flames towards Potter and – _fuck_ – him. They both jump over rubble, ducking between pillars as they run.

“If we _die_ ,” Draco snarls, dodging another furious attack from Voldemort, “I will _kill you again_ , Potter.”

Potter sends him a curious look, one that makes him catch his breath.

“ _If_ we die,” He echoes, lips curling upwards. “Tom won’t succeed, not this time.”

Draco blinks, nearly struck by another jet of flames he doesn’t notice.

“ _Who the bloody hell is Tom?”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
